fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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