im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
