Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
