Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
