Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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