i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
