Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
