im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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