just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize