I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize