what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
where am i from again
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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