the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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