...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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