He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you didnt know i had herpes?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
