I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
try to milk me bitch
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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