It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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