Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
