drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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