It's just like the Real World with babies
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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