how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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