walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
