we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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