Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It's blow job season.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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