Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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