I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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