stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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