I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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