those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
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