If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
this will be a night to untag.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
