I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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