Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up

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(819): View more from Quebec

its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger

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(228): View more from Mississippi

yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations

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(239): View more from Florida

i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass

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(504): View more from Louisiana

The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester

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(601): View more from Mississippi

You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break

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(719): View more from Colorado

I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision

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