Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
