I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize