Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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