dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
