i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
