my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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