When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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