i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
