honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
