Got a toothbrush?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize