He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
