im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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