Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize