I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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