wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
im holly from the hills drunk
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
