The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
