walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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