Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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