Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Of course I have a pirate flag
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
