you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
