I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
