So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
