Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
