writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
