Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
