We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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