Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
