i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
