rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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