I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize