Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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