Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
