the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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