escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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