DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize