He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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